Where are we again?
Oh yes Honolulu. In
Honolulu the lounge for American airlines is shared with Japan airlines- well,
it would be Japan is only a 6 hour flight away from here. In the JAL lounge
there was a selection of nibbles, soup and noodles and Purin Denisshu プリンデニッシュ and
Hawaiian coffee. The side of the lounge I was using was quiet but I heard
merriment from the other part where the alcohol was !
Now Japan is famous for a few things, Cars,
electronics, kimonos and Japanese Toilets, do we want to talk about toilets on
this blog?... Yes I think it rates a
mention.
The Japanese toilet is a beast to behold, large shield shaped object,
the quirks continue when one lifts the lid and takes a seat upon the throne,
the seat is warmed to the point of being almost hot, sitting on a warm toilet
seat is about as pleasurable as borrowing wellingtons and putting them on while
they are warm! . To the right is a control panel with a number of functions
listed in Japanese. It could have improved my grasp of Japanese in leaps and
bounds but I don’t think the functions it was describing would be suitable for
polite conversation! I pressed the buttons in turn and the results were warm,
wet and surprisingly high pressure, the last one was just warm and breezy. Ok
those of a sensitive disposition will probably have had enough toilet talk.
Time zones are defeating me now as the hour
gets later and later with each flight East.
Plenty of sparkling wine on the flight to LAX
but its not the same as champagne and not as cold as BA serve it .
Anything
describing itself as steak on a flights is bound to be a disappointment so I
opted for the Lasagna, note here its not Lasagne, In the US they make their
Lasagna with ricotta instead of the roux sauce, we are used to, its nice if you
accept that its not Lasagne and bears only a passing resemblance to the former.
I managed quite a lot of sleep, the trick here
is to sit in a bulkhead row and use your carry on case as a foot rest, pivoting
seats help, ugh I have just remembered that US have reclining seats so people
lean back into you , forgotten all about that little gem until now.
The
flight landed into LAX at 11.30 and I overheard a gate agent telling someone
else that the TSA point was closed until 4am so you could go out but not get
back in – is it worth the hassle just to smoke- frankly NO so I selected a spot
on the carpet behind the gate for the LAX-MIA flight, blew up my mattress and
settled down. I had intended to ditch the blow up mattress at LAX but it was
really comfortable so I decided it was worth lugging it home since it packs up
so small. I woke up once, cold and once, because a plane landed beside me (on
the runway next to the window really) apart from that I slept through until
5.25 am for a 5.55 am flight.
So some
of you are asking why? Why am I crossing the country in first class and
sleeping on an airport floor? Well, its down to www.sleepinginairports.com yes, a
real website, by the time I had caught a shuttle and paid for the hotel, got 3
hours sleep, shuttle back security checkpoint, wait in line, not worth it. I am
going to write my report for their website when I get back and join yet another
community of crazies.
(sleeping airside is perfectly safe, the TSA
have protected air travellers against Toothpaste,
Shampoo and Aftershave airside since 2002.)
Now I can understand how flights, cities and
timezones all blend into one for those who have to fly for business, luckily my
phone refuses to accept it is not in the UK and I have the time at home
displayed which gives me some idea of what dimension I am in .
LAX-MIA I was sat in the main rows not the
bulkhead, a new experience, the legroom isn’t bad but you do feel bad for
having to disturb the person next to you to get up so I waited to use the
facilities until he got up, a sort of bladder capacity top trumps. Just as I
was about to concede defeat in the contest, the seatbelt light came on and the
captain announced “flight attendants take your seats” and the rollercoaster
ride began. The last couple of days the weather channel has been non stop live
coverage of the tornadoes and monster storms in the middle of the country so we
must have been in an area where there was still some disturbance. The Americans
are reall pussys about turbulence and it wasn’t much of a ride, that said, it
could have been, so being strapped in was the best thing, rather wait half an
hour for the loo that break a leg in turbulence……..rather wait half an hour if
you weren’t trying to give the nice bloke in the aisle seat a flight free of
interruptions.
American weather forecasting is miles ahead of
ours in the UK, we know roughly if it could rain or if it could be sunny but
they have up to the minute highly accurate radar tracking second to none, once
in Mt Laurel the TV beeped and a message saying there would be a heavy storm
along in 10 mins came up, sure enough 10 mins later the heavens opened and the
atmosphere crackled with electricity. The bloke on the weather channel could
actually tell if there was debris being thrown up in a given area from the
radar returns, so if the captain wants you to buckle up, you buckle up.
Look at this for a breakfast, wow,
nice guy
next to me had oatmeal (porridge) so I was particularly pleased to have ordered
this last week, even if I long since lost track of what I had ordered, so much
salmon and cream cheese I actually had to leave some (sorry Alistair I really
did leave smoked salmon)
My
phone volume control broke completely, there I was watching the second episode
of Amish Mafia and the volume just went. Then I realised we were descending,
held my nose and blew, my ears clicked and the volume on my phone magically
worked again, my ears have been a bit odd due to all the flying!
Remember the quilt I am going to make of sights from 37,000 feet well, here are a few more ideas I got.
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